Note: This is the eulogy that I wrote and delivered at my father’s funeral.

Today we say goodbye to the first man I ever loved: my dad. He assured me I could be anything I wanted to be and taught me to think for myself and find my own answers. We shared both laughs and deep philosophical discussions right up until a few weeks ago, when it became difficult for him to talk.

He taught me and my brother, Michael Don, right from wrong, how to love, how to laugh and how to live. He was one of the kindest and wisest men any of us will ever know.

As a bonafide “Daddy’s girl,” I want to take a few minutes to share with you some of the many things we have learned from him. He had a great sense of humor and a deep belly laugh, so I think he’d approve of us enjoying these remembrances with a laugh or a smile.

HONESTY

My dad was always an honest man, and he passed on that trait to his children. I was so honest, in fact, that when I was a little girl and someone asked about my parents, I was quick to tell anyone that my daddy was the milkman, obviously not understanding the underlying connotations of such a statement at the time. But my daddy really was the milkman, so it was OK.

BEAUTY of GENETICS

Regardless of where I went when I was little, I would be greeted with, “You must be Don Williams’ little girl!” I’m sure my brother received the same reaction, however being a boy instead. I didn’t fully understand the connection until my sons were born.

The first time I held my oldest son, Sean, his father and I looked in amazement and said, “Oh my goodness! It’s a baby Don!”

Then when my second son, Robin, arrived, he was my daddy in almost every way: from looks to actions to sense of humor. So it’s safe to say that bits of my dad are being carried on through the generations.

FINDING FRESHNESS

My dad worked with various foods most of his adult life. My brother sometimes worked with my dad on the Borden milk route, but I was luckier in that I got to help with the Hostess Twinkies and cakes. One of my jobs when I got to help out was to pull the expired cakes from store shelves and place the freshest ones at the back. To this day I know to always reach to the back for the freshest milk and baked goods.

FRIENDSHIP

From my dad I learned that strangers may be only friends we haven’t met yet. He seemed to know everyone in every store or restaurant we entered. If he didn’t know them, he soon met them. Later in life, he always had a smile and a wave for passersby while tending his front yard.

While middle school can be an awkward time for making new friends, Daddy would sometimes send me with plenty of Hostess cakes to give away. Obviously I became a popular girl on those days.

LOVE of HISTORY

My dad loved history and instilled that love in me. Whenever we went on road trips to new places, he would stop at just about every historical marker on the way. It would sometimes drive my mom crazy, but it made me more aware of all the things that shaped our past. I eventually minored in history in college, and my youngest son plans to do the same.

METICULOUSNESS

Dad liked for things to be clean and orderly. For example, a few years ago my sister-in-law Joyce brought a honey-glazed ham to prepare for Easter dinner. She asked my dad to put it in the pan for heating as she was preparing some other food. When she turned around, she saw my dad meticulously scrubbing off all the delicious glaze because he thought it was dirty. At least the ham was clean when they finally got to eat it.

OTHER INSIGHTS

Among the other things my daddy taught us was to be a gracious winner. He was fiercely competitive at our family card games; if he won, he would gently taunt us. If he lost, well, that’s another story.

He taught me it’s never too late to change your mind, giving me the chance to make a run for it before walking me down the aisle at my wedding. (As with most of his advice, I should have listened.)

Daddy taught me agelessness. Even though I’m still celebrating the undisclosed anniversary of my 29^th birthday, he called me “Baby” all my life, right up to the last time I talked to him just before his passing.

And finally, Daddy taught me that things go much more smoothly if you don’t upset Mama — which is a rule I carry in my own house, too!

As an alumna of the University of North Carolina, I wouldn’t usually be quoting someone from N.C. State. But the late, great Jim Valvano is certainly quote-worthy, and his words summarize my thoughts today nicely.

He said,

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

I’d like to leave you with this comforting poem.

I give you this one thought to keep:
I am with you still; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me as gone.
I am with you still in each new dawn.

While I miss my dad terribly, I am grateful for heaven’s newest angel, who will be watching over us always.

I love you, Daddy. You are my hero.