Note: This is the eulogy that I delivered at my mother’s funeral in April 2018.

Thank you for gathering here today to help us celebrate the life of my amazing mother, Johnnie Williams. I know many of you probably think that you have the best mom ever, but you’re wrong. That honor belongs to me.

She not only loved me unconditionally, she interceded on those rare occasions when I made poor decisions so Daddy wouldn’t find out. She went without so that I could have fashionable clothing to wear to school. But she also understood thriftiness, and we could find some great bargains. To this day, I refuse to pay retail for most things.

Mom, not Dad, taught me all about football. She instilled in me a love for the Dallas Cowboys and the Texas Tech Red Raiders. She later became a diehard fan of the University of North Carolina Tar Heels and would call me at halftime to commiserate if they needed to get their butts in gear. Or she would often call at the final buzzer to celebrate special victories, including several national championships.

But the greatest thing my mother taught me was to believe in myself. When I wanted to attend the University of North Carolina for its top-rated School of Journalism and Mass Communication, she talked my dad into accepting that his “baby” would be OK so far away from Lubbock, Texas.

My fellow UNC alumnus Michael Jordan, while known for his amazing basketball skills, also has some thoughtful insights. He said, “My mother is my root, my foundation. She planted the seed that I base my life on, and that is the belief that the ability to achieve starts in your mind.”

I am grateful to have been able to spend the past several months helping to care for my mother. She loved watching Hallmark movies and the Game Show Network, especially Family Feud and old game shows from the 1970s and ’80s.

While she was no longer able to participate in our family’s marathon progressive rummy and other card games, she used to be a fierce competitor, showing us how to lose gracefully or playfully gloat as the winner.

My mom, bless her heart, had some interesting sayings that would always bring a smile or sometimes outright laughter as we tried to figure out where they came from. Some of her most frequent sayings were:
• I’m full as a tick.
• It’s cold as blue blazes.
• Oh, fiddle!
• Okey dokey!
And one I still don’t understand: “I’m cold as a frog!”

My sons told me about one time when she was driving and got tired of waiting for traffic to clear while trying to turn into the Market Street parking lot near 50th Street, so she just turned anyway. When the boys protested this dangerous traffic maneuver, she replied, “I pay my taxes just like everyone else!”

While she had an amazing sense of humor, she is best known for her caring and loving kindness. This past Christmas, my son Sean’s girlfriend, Jackelyn, came to Lubbock to visit Grandma Johnnie. She wrote a letter to Sean about her visit and what my mom had meant to her. The following is an excerpt from the letter, which Sean and I read to my mom last Thursday before she died, and she seemed very touched by it.

“From the moment I walked in the door, she made me feel incredibly loved. At the time I was missing my own grandma so much, but Grandma Johnnie made me feel at home right away. I have never felt more comfortable, accepted or beautiful than when I sat on her couch. She genuinely cared about my life, about who I was, and about how our relationship was going. She was incredibly kind and thoughtful, even when she was having difficulty taking care of herself. She made me laugh almost every day and made me feel like a part of the family.

“My only regret is that I did not get to spend more time with her. I feel robbed of only getting to spend such little time with one of the most amazing women I have ever come to know. I should have anticipated how amazing she would be after meeting the rest of your family. Your mom, with her confidence, strength, humor, sassiness and sweetness, is a true reflection of what an amazing mom your grandma is. And you and Robin — with your humor, wit, intelligence, creativity, cooking skills, caring hearts, and good looks — are definitely the spitting image of your mom and grandma.…

“I did not know her very long, but if I have to say goodbye, this is what I would tell her: Grandma Johnnie, thank you for welcoming me into your home at a time when I really needed a grandmother’s love. Thank you for accepting me and making me feel so incredibly loved. I wish we could have more time together, but I know you need to be reunited with some people you love. Thank you for raising the most amazing grandson. Thank you for giving him your lighthearted spirit, your wit, and your caring heart. … I promise to yell at him to pick up his clothes off the floor, to make sure he doesn’t fudge the scorecard while playing progressive rummy, and to eat homemade biscuits and sausage gravy with him every Christmas. Thank you for letting me be a part of your amazing family.”

Jackleyn Rockwood

Thank you, Jackelyn.

I had asked Sean to help me find a poem suitable to read at today’s funeral. After searching for a while, he decided to write his own. I hope you will be as touched as I am by this final tribute to his grandmother, my mom.

A Poem for Grandma Johnnie

From the day we are born,
the one person we adore
above any other
is the very special woman
we call our mother.

The one who puts food on our plate,
who inspires us to do more,
who cherishes every moment with us
and makes us feel complete.

A mother’s love is insurmountable.
She reminds you in your darkest hours
just how wonderful and loved you truly are.
There’s nothing quite as powerful.
It’s something I wish we could all pass on.

Our mothers raise us to love just as strong as they love us.
They guide us through our mistakes,
show us how to love unconditionally,
and none does it better than my mom.

A mother makes sacrifices to give us a better life
even when she doesn’t need to.
She makes sure that everyone else is fed first,
that everyone is entertained, and that she can provide bountifully. 

She finds joy in providing joy to others
and sets the bar high as we too become fathers and mothers.
She molds our beautiful souls
into strong, kind, loving, caring people.

As children arrive and we become parents of our own,
she guides us further down the uncertain road,
continuing to pass down the endless virtues
and lessons that can only be described as blessings.

Now a grandmother
with grandchildren to spoil,
she begins a new mission.
The epitome of unconditional love,
she’s forever with us,
whether here on earth or up above.

Sean Palmer